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Are you watching Manchester United? Teen goalscoring freak haunts Neymar, Mbappe and Co.

Manchester United must have been banging their heads against a wall over their failure to sign Erling Haaland in January, but after seeing his two goals against PSG this morning, they would have been forgiven for smashed their heads straight through it.
Manchester United must have been banging their heads against a wall over their failure to sign Erling Haaland in January, but after seeing his two goals against PSG this morning, they would have been forgiven for smashed their heads straight through it.

Ole Gunnar Solskjaer and Ed Woodward met with Haaland and his representatives at the end of December and the start of January and were assured that Old Trafford was his first choice now he was certain to leave RB Salzburg after scoring a remarkable eight goals in the Champions League group stages.

But then his agent – and the bane of Manchester United’s lives because of his relentless Paul Pogba commentary – Mino Raiola got involved and he ended up in Dortmund, for a measly £17.1m ($33m).

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Haaland dazzling brace v PSG

Haaland dazzling brace v PSG

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11 goals in seven games later and Haaland has become a phenomenon.

He scored twice against Paris Saint-Germain to put in the kind of performance the French side have been waiting for from Neymar and Kylian Mbappe in a Champions League knockout round as they stare down the barrel of a four consecutive last-16 exit.

The first of Haaland’s strikes showed off the part of his game which has been so lauded from his time in Salzburg – instinctive finishing.

It wasn’t a glamourous strike but his swift swivel and poke all in one movement to allude the Parisian defence broke the deadlock on a game that was in danger of getting away from itself, despite the embarrassment of attacking talent on show.

His second was just pure power.

And in between that highlight reel, he showed off the sort of pace, power and maturity that has no right to belong to a 19-year-old in his first season in the Champions League.

Leeds-born Haaland now has 39 goals in 28 games this season and is the joint top scorer in the Champions League this season with 10 goals. He is also the fastest player to reach 10 Champions League goals.

He’s also bagged six (SIX!) hat-tricks this season.

Oh, to be a fly on the wall in the office of Manchester United executive vice-chairman Ed Woodward right now.

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